things that make me go .... HMMMM

it's a borrowed title from her... but its so beauitful.... so complete....

let's us... now... make a list!

- when sachin tendulkar comes out to bat.. and inches towards his century!

- it's 2 am... and i'm on the wheel... somewhere btwn bandra and mahim...

- whence... @ someplacelse.... they start playing something by floyd

- when... she smiles! (you sucker.... you... you prick!)

- when ther's gobi ka paratha... and lasoon ki chutney for lunch!

- when it starts raining... and my life's sins... feel washed up...

- when they look @ me disapprovingly.. for i pulled another "vbv"

:)

SEP redux...

so so so... sunday evenin philosophers are back!

the new charachter this time is ... gold-mine!

the man with all the wonderful ideas in this world....

the problem with gold-mine is... he's too positive and ambitious to actually be a part of SEP and can easily be confused for your regular hi-flier!

but deep down... he feels lost n disillusioned abt what he does.. and why.... thus.. he's a SEP with a exo-skeleton of a PHP (potential high performer)

here goes gold mine's theme song...

 

 

Gold Mine… Gold Mine!

The champion against corporate crime

 

Gold Mine… Gold Mine!

Burning the midnight oil

 

There’s no bottle neck imaginable

With his idea generating gold-mind

 

He's about rushing against deadlines!
He'll even fight intellectual crime…

An extra hour in office. . .

Another working weekend!
Let's just surround ourselves with piles of files
It's a fight till the very end

With a burning sense of humor

Eclipsing his sense of style...
He's a silent killer

With a violent smile

Top line bottom line stock out or dad
Gold mine is so effective! He drove them all mad!

March to April as the calendar rolls...
He's lost count... Too busy exceeding his goals!

 

Gold Mine… Gold Mine!

The champion against corporate crime

 

Gold Mine… Gold Mine!

Burning the midnight oil

 

Condemned Dreams

Wind hits my face…
Swifting past in a metro…
It's no longer a cold wave…
There's too much burning inside!

She strapped on her heels
Biker babes don't have it easy...
The road has always been home to
Guns... Germs and Steel!

We used to speak in silhouettes
when whispers seemed too loud
we said forever would mean too less
we couldn't part that young ;)

Cream crayons and dirty dreams
my tattoo was your wedding ring
of folded sleeves and open collars
there was no envy in her dollar dreams

now its empty cobbled streets
the same old songs on repeat
Reminiscing and living in pictures
of high heels, off orange peels

Right-Sized

Of.. Mice and men.. In this rat race they ran..
The winner stood wondering.. What now??

Of luck and such.. She warned them
It's not what can you do.. But can't?

The running is consistent.. The force is full..
The direction keeps changing.. It's a zero sum game..

I used to have dreams once.. Of glory and greatness..
Now I wonder :)

Madam Manic

You're pretty pretty on most of the days
Very pretty on rest of the days..
I wonder how good you look today.

You're a girl every man wud need
You're a girl.. No man can afford to keep
At 3 am.. Can I watch you sleep??

Words loose meaning.. just your lips part
Worlds collide.. As your limbs part
Melted hot chocolate & a sizzling heart!

Shimmer & shine of your painted lips
The self assured touch of your finger tips..

You're an intoxication best enjoyed.. In small.. little sips

Atlast.... Shrugged!

it was sometime.... in 05-06... when i had picked up atlas shrugged for the second time.... to read... after-all... how could i have left behind sucha important book on my way anyway...

and then... well... i quit... after 4oo pgs... but like... most hindi movies... this one has a happy ending...

this... starts with... sometime in 08... when i re-visited.. .the paperback i had purchased on the streets of kolkata.. in 07... cos it had the OLD art-work on the cover... 

me n my love for the old art-work on books... :)

after going through abt 25 pgs.. .the book started to fall apart... we can hardly blame the thing... it held it together for 25 odd yrs :)

so... we went to the corner-store and got a shiny new atlas shrugged... with the white color cover n all that...

for the next few months... we read 20 pgs a day... abt twice a week.. on the ride to work... when we weren't on the phone... and other such...

we took it with us... to abt half a dozen states... and alll such!

ppl mocked us all around... for nvr ever finishing it.. and it being the book of my life and what not!!

then there was the holiday to singapore.. .when i carried the thing with me.. . in hope that .. .thru the various flights and other such.. i'll read the damn thing...

as luck would have it..forgot it in the hotel in singapore....

thus ended the second copy of atlas shrugged... in my trivial pursuit!

then... on one of my trips to mumbai.... i pulled out another copy of atlas shrugged.. .that we had borrowed from her... in 05... that's after-all how we'd decided to start reading it... though i am not very sure.. if it was him or her... 

and over the next few weeks and a couple of months... finally finished the book....

after having managed to run thru the 1100 something pages... she tells me... vbv... over the lst yr... u must've... even forgotten... wht dagny's charachter had started as.....

she maybe right.... but i had... atlast shrugged :)

Breeze...

The conversations that happened.. 

Between the sheets on a Sunday morning .

The things that were left unsaid 

on a late Saturday night..

She called to say she wasn't ready for this.. 

He had been planing to pull the plug on her instead..

Cream color dreams in black & white
Seem vaguely familiar the morning after..

When the blue curtains of the morning sun parted..
The black sky and his hopes had vanished

Curling on empty air plane seats
He wishes his life away

finest way to start a day!

so... i woke up this morning... to read this story in the news!

and i must say... there are all sorts of things... life prepares one for... but not some brilliant surprises of this kind :)

after reading this... someone told me... how kids have the absolut clarity and over the yrs and our complications... we end up losing sight of things we really want.. and would cherish!

not sure... if we were better decision makers then or now... but this surely... is a good read!

State of mind...

so... tmrw... i will visit... the 20th state of India... in my 26 yrs... so fascinating! sucha mile-stonE!

it'll be the first new state i will visit in 2009.... 

we happend to visit.... 6 new states in 2007 & 5 new ones in 2008.... its clearly been a good-couple of yrs! ;)

i've always been fascinated about travelling within India... exploring the various states and other such... which is why... i decided to keep a tab on how many of them are there... and how many v've covered... turns out... 28 states & 7 ut's.... so out of this list of 35... we're on 20 already :)

maybe... it surprises you.. to find this... so fascinating... but for a boy... brought up in mumbai.. .with a bi-annual vacation to north-india... suddenly going out... and seeing the rest of india suddenly is just.... sucha RUSH!

it is just... something which gives me sucha high... to be a person... who's atleast visited these places... for a short-while even... maybe just one city... maybe just one night? but... still i have seen.. more than half of our states... :)

i feel great pride about the whole deal! 

in the 15 odd which are still left... 6 of them are very important... which will be planned for .... in the coming yr.... after-all... how else can we discover ourselves... but thru travel :)

cheers to another train ride!

Jharkhand calling!

all's well... that ends well!

so... the year that was .. 2008...



one too many count-downs and recollections have already obviously been done... since we're already in 2009...



but i think.. we can start with.. diwali of 2007... when we crashed our car and survived...

that.. was quite the turning point... cos i got out scratch-less... and it meant i never bought that car in kolkata which i was supposed to... then came the new yr in delhi...

the impulsive surprise @ roxy!

the long, dreary baroda....

another change of guard... the launch of chad valley... and the possibilities.. which still remain un-utilized! so... actually.. with chad valley... this was one of my biggest years in sometime!

then... the first formula 1... and the lap of luxury holiday that followed!

the diwali surprise... that was SO un-expected...

and then... well... not to forget... the first time we lived on our own... the maid... the house...

the first time in life.. i entertained my folks at *my home*

the first time i entertained my brother and lotsa friends also!

god i love my friends... what would i ever do without them?

and then... half-drunk knight! my most precious addition of 08! how much i shall miss him next yr... sigh!

and well... like the theme says.. all's well that end's well.. thru the most dramatic... most travelled... and i think most "lived" year of my life... the last 15 days were some bloody good parties... in amar sonar bangla!

the last 2 days ofcourse... were the best imaginable!

the 30th night... with those stupid boys.. after 5 bloody long yrs... 3... if u r from fukudus domain!

and then... the chilled out 31st at home... let us see... what tomorrow brings!

hung-over-knight : bio-sketch!

so.... hung-over-knight.. is not just any random guy...

he is actually a new phenomenon of today... i was mighty surprised to come across this one... but maybe i'm just lucky! to see all this... in a single-life-time!

mind you.. like the original knights! this is not just one guy... but its a group of men.. .who up-hold this strong... difficult set of values & never compromise! never let-go!

live strong i say!

so... what one may ask.. are the principles of h-o-k living?

- a man who loves only one woman...
there is only one true love... and everyone else who comes along the way.. are stray women! but he's a real-knight so.. he will not let them feel.. less than loved! so...

- a man who will be up-front about his lofe... for another...
i mean.. sure.. the knight.. is irresistible! who doesn't want a man, already committed to another? (and they think men have committment issues and tend to cheat... its the women who want to make them cheaters... to make their men seem cooler?)

- a man who is still NOT in-discriminate!
i mean sure.. he is a knight.. and there are all these women! but that in NO way means... he will be out and about with every1! while a personal sense of discrimination might be more of a common'er quality! but... what makes the knight extra special is... that he might... inter-act with a lot more... but he actually "gives up sex" and i quote a knight here!
any lesser man... could not have ever said this!

like the fabled knight's... i see no peace or satisfaction... come in the knight's life.. except through spreading joy and smile's... in the life of as many women... as he CAN fancy... so they all smile thinking... "they were worthy, to be had!"

merry christmas... or somethin

so... the big-christmas eve was some name-less-face-less party... followed by a couple of more such parties....

nice... none-the-less nothing worth remebering mentioning or whatever.. i mean it was nice.. but.. BAS!

so then on christmas day... we woke up around lunch... the made didn't come... so there was no food.. but the ever-thgtful "bhaiya" made maggi n scrambled eggs :) 

and we had a healthy-and-well-fed afternoon! followed by bumming rest of the day! 

then in the evening... hung-over-knight called and said let's catch up!

so we drove down to park street... and it was all so brilliantly lit-up and crowded! decked up like a princess! the best street of calcutta! all ppl well dressed in the way they knew best how to... walking around on a chilly winter evening... with their dear ones and sharing a laugh!

and then we went down to the god's favorite cafe... t3 - the tea table... sat down over there... after struggling 10 mins to find a table... one of those un-heard of things... t3 being too full :)

any-who.. then after much struggle.. we caught the attention of the waiter.. and placed an order.. then after about 3 reminders... we got them to clean our table.... and about 3 seperate set of reminders... got him to get us our complete order...

this.. somewhere is where the real charm of T3 lies... in their non-chalant approach to customer service.. how hard it is.. to un-ruffle them.. from their real-job.. which is to guard that monument.. 

and somewhere in the brilliant food that they serve and the general festive ambience of the place... the cool of the waiters... and the long lovely conversation... reminscing the past... shared experiences... recent and beyond... somewhere i was reminded... THIS is the spirit of christmas and holiday!

this.. is what we all make a big-deal about... try and meet our dear friends... catch up with them and well this is what makes christmas merry!

so... it may not have been perfect... but i hope your christmas and holidays go merry as well!

for now.. i love my life.. and hung-over-knight.. for being a part of it :)

CHANGE FOR THE BETTER...

Rub me the wrong way...

Rub a little harder… 

You're getting it right!

Rub a little more you're making it count!

There's a sore from a bite and 

A rash from a scratch… 

Just keep digging deeper and 

The trash’ll surface!

You push the ribbon… You stretch it more… 

Then the fabric gives in and I feel nothing…

A moment or so later the flood follows...

Noises that drown... vision that blurs… 

Throat that's scratchy and breath that's faltering!!

Metal that's rusting... 

Lights which are fading... 

A hairline that's receding!? 

I'm an amalgamation of 

All the could have been's 

That didn't amount to much.

Come… Let’s Embrace this change

QUITTIN and WINNIN

in the inter-mingling noise..
of unexpected and everything

in the cheaply lit void
of emptiness and nothing

a candle still burns
with a dwindling flame

a boy still waits..
mumblin a name
under his breath!

he tries to think of the sun.. .
the moon n other such :)

lands his thoughts somewhere
near the cut of her skirt...

Distraction is terrible,
sucha use-less destructive force...

when you ramble for long enough
the point can then get lost

its a lil chilly outside
a lil slow inside my head

maybe its just a winter weekend...
wishing me DEAD!

Ode to the Non-Salaried..

your life is so blessed...

you have no monday morning blues

no weekend stress.. to maximize!

no pointless.. protocol!

your life is so blessed...

you report into none..

answerable only to self

and fly the span of your imagination!

your life is so blessed...

still.. do you wish somedays..

to swap it with me?

just another day!

so.. after a slightly traumatizing train ride... i reached home this evening... to my 2 flat-mates... rofl! first time.. i came home to flat-mates i think.. funny new feeling... 1o f them was on the phone... n the other was sleeping.. i ofcourse... made both of them give up their pursuits.. and get excited that i am back :)

why not anyway... it is so coom i came back ;)...
feels good for a change to have some 1 to come back to.. from the glory days of jodhpur park.. when i had vh1 for company...

now.. at 10:05... srini boy is cooking rice for us... as i wait for the race to start.. and he has messed it up a lil.. but who r v kidding.. i'd have not made anythin to begin with!! this is a feast.. to say the least! ;)

another benefit of livin with frnds.. u get food while u just be lazy! :)

then there is the whole their tastes against ours... and their likes against ours...

ok now.. i must eat.. this is update for the moment! go watch the race...

ode to a beautiful some1~~

She's so circumspect.. that in retrospect
there won't be much left to regret!!

when we go back home.. and she drives alone
she pulled the parachute and pressed eject!!

Safe but far from safety..
they worship her like a deity!

when the sun goes down in hollywood
she paints her eyes and is off to see red!

its not as horrible as it seems
but magnificence is over-rated!

when the dust settles and we call it quits
atleast she would have lived!

principld livin'

the 2 principles to live by in kolkata
1. money is no object
2. time is no issue
this was mostly his philosophy for kol... i'v contributed about 10% to this.. but its so brilliantly true :)

:)
when this is the basis of yr philosophy for life.. in a city... one wonders.. how much can there be to complain about in life.. :)


today... was a couple of very interesting learnings... from the weirdest of un-expected places...

part 1:in the show he mentioned... each one of us has a specific picture, which is from our past... running in our heads... when we talk about back home (india) mine is this, kolkata... since my folks are from here.
and this... was sucha profound statement... it holds so true... our reality of things is always a shade from our past... be it abt some experience... some city.. or some situation.. its worrying almost.. to think of all communication as chinese whisper.. and how its so easy... for 2 ppl to be constantly in touch and yet see the situation in 2 opp scenario's... cos they come from diff realities..

part 2: like we went to this all-night open dhaba place.. post the show... and the man serving on our table.. gave us all 3 the nod.. like we were regulars.. and we discussed... this was my first time in the place... he had come there after abt 2 yrs... and he was also very erratic at best....
but then we remarked.. that if any of us were with a girl right now.. n the waiter nodded.. v'd prolly nod back n say somethin.. to imply v'r regulars here... coz its prolly cool to be acknowledged n considerd a regular.. just about anywherE!

a boy named GOO

god... give me the strength.. to change.. what i feel is wrong... and the courage.. to accept... what i cannot change!

i... have lived thru the last 25 yrs.. with a lot of things... with a lot i'v let go... and too much that i'v experienced... sometimes... when i look back upon my life.. i feel.. these intensely complex relationships... are about the only thing i'v pulled... off... as an achievement in the last few yrs... my sense of strength of purpose.. on many other.. more valuable counts... is often... magnificently lacking... and then i hit days like this...

when... finally.. despite.. all my weariness.. all my strength or experience... i find myself... so vulnerable... so naked... so open... sucha... "sitting duck" for the lack of a better word... 

is it sucha bad thing... when you are so easily exposed. it is soemthing you should cover.. or find a mask for... the naked nature of your raw emotion?

should we... then.. be able to always maintain equilibrium & a straight face.. no matter where we come from??

i agree to dis-agree... but if i am on the fucking other pole... from where you are... is this just our individual choice of what we decide to call home??

its so intense sometimes... these casual encounters in my head... they can rip something alive within me... and tear it out of my flesh... and expose it naked... to a salty sea... with high winds blowing... which are eroding... my inners.... and the violence.... the clash... between my skin and my teeth... so beautiful... so beautifully painful... 

there is a lot of things in our lives... we think we can control... so much ... we can command over so conveniently... then... we chance upon our achilees heel!

the only real problem... in life... is not what we have to go through... no story is ever a fairy-tale... whatever we do... there is ALWAYS something one has to LEARN to live-with! 

its only about.... what can YOU do... to let me live with it? but mayb... as she says... why should one be protected... from ANYthing? 

why would i..make it ANY easier for you to live with your choices/ and then... after-all there is ALWAYS the escape-hatch that says... why don't you just... walk-away boy :)

hang-over of love...

there are these boys... ok i may be one of them sometimes..

but boys... who have been in relationships.. where the things ended.. pretty much.. when the men weren't exactly ready to let-go... and then suddenly... the women are gone... they don't talk much... they don't take their calls as often.. or are on a little trip of their own..

our boys... mean-while... are suddenly wondering.. how will the girl fend for herself... how will she survive in this big-bad world... how will she decide...how will she choose... which bag would go with this lip-stick!

the women... they are making their own way in the world.. they're on this trip of being independent..self-reliant.. fresh out of a r'ship.. and ready to chart out on their own.. and the boys are thinking of them as the damsels in distress.. that they'd become... while we were dating!

i think... the loud n clear msg... is to get over this hang-over... this residue... and this baggage that we carry on us so willing... and get on with our lives...

because.. it is SO MUCH more easier.. said than done... i'll leave it open to your conclusions... while i have shared my solution :)