spirit of bangalore!

so... since last weekend was goa... and most of my friends... weren't around.. this weekend... till about now.. had had no alcohol in it... which... in OTHER cities.. is not sucha big deal.. but the spirit of b'lore takes offence... to there being no spirits in YR weekend!

so.. after a night.. when nothing really happnd... i was driving back home.. from the friends place.. n i stopped over for paan... opp hard rock.. n then.. there were a bunch of cops.. chkin for alcohol ahead.... i figd.. no big deal! here i am.. i've not had alcohol since the rum maggi experiment failed on thursday... whats to worry! n then.. i went thru the breath-analyzer... post the preliminary test.. the cops asked me to step out of the vehicle n blow air into their breath-analyzer (now with a straw) n GUESS WHAT! it shows 70% alcohol in my breath (normal level, @ which they let u walk away is 20%) so... i'm flabbergasted! WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? AND HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE ! I HAVE NOT HAD ALCOHOL IN 36 HOURS! MY MAN!!

anyway... since its the IT CITY we are in... we're ALL technologically enabled.. so their breath analyzer worth 90k is imported from germany (father-land pays and father-land takes it away) tells them.. that i'm QUITE drunk... and i'm talkin to about half a dozen cops who're @ this junction.. ALL agree.. i'm not exactly drunk... n i'm walking n talking fine.. but their machine says.. i'm drunk... AND ITS RIGHT! so.. one man.. takes his blackberry.. takes down my car number & contact details.. then we head over to his bike.. where he brings out a pocket printer & course.. his bb has sent all the details to this... and so has the breath analyzer.. n he took a print-out of a court case against me..!

the man says.. "come to court on monday 11am.. appear before the magistrate... and tell him you didn't drink, appoint a lawyer.. who can fight your case" and i'm like SERIOUSLY! why are you doing this to me... ofcourse he had nothing to say.. then we spoke for a little more.. he asked for my driving license & RC book.. (since i didn't have the original RC book) he goes.. pls deposit the car @ the police stn... and take it back on monday.. once the case is resolved... n suddenly ALARM BELLS started ringing in my head! its one thing to false accuse me and make me pay a fine.. its ANOTHER to take away my car from me.. n i protested more.. about how i did not drink.. but by the end of it.. the handful of cops.. were fairly irritated with me.. and didn't want to hear anymore.. and said.. deposit the car n fuck-off boy!

so.. since there really was.. no solution to all of this mess.. i figd.. i'd go drop the car.. so me n this cop.. strted drivin towards the police stn... v spoke a bit.. n he essentially told me.. if the machine says yr drunk.. yr DRUNK boy!! n then.. he took down my address n other details.. i tried to understand from him.. what happens in the court.. n he says.. u can accept yr guilty.. n pay btwn 1600-2000 or protest.. .get yrself a lawyer.. n fight yr case.. OBVIOUSLY this means... pay the money.. n get on with life.. this on a MONDAY @ 11 AM... with no real line-of-sight of HOW LONG this might last on the said monday... n i'm like.. there has to be a better way to do this...

since i'd spent abt 15 mins with this cop... n he seemed fairly ok.. .with me being an innocent victim of the fatherland tech glitch.. i asked.. if i cud jst pay the court fine to him.. and get out.. he had some pity.. and agreed for it! so i told him.. pls come with me to the ATM & let's close this.. v go to the ATM & wonder of wonders... the bank a/c for which i have a card doesn't have the funds.. n the other cards are home... so... i came back to the car.. opened my laptop.. which i HAPPENED to be carrying for some random reason... n e-banked money into my said account... which obviously took.. WAY longer than it's supposed to.. cos i was standing besides a cop...

then @ 1215.. it finally gave in.. and the transaction happnd... i withdrew the money... paid the cop... he requested me to drop him back to hardrock.. n gave his phone no.. to collect the receipt on monday.. while getting off he goes.. " i'm sorry to fine you.. wrongly... but since the machine detected your breath with alcohol a case is already registered online & we are unable to cancel it, it's not because we want to harass you... but we can't make a decision here"

as much as i hated the situation i also understood and agreed with what the man had to say... since there was nothing better to say or do... i came home... opened a can of fosters draught.. and started typing this! since clearly... the spirit of bangalore was offended i had had a DRY weekend!