i... have lived thru the last 25 yrs.. with a lot of things... with a lot i'v let go... and too much that i'v experienced... sometimes... when i look back upon my life.. i feel.. these intensely complex relationships... are about the only thing i'v pulled... off... as an achievement in the last few yrs... my sense of strength of purpose.. on many other.. more valuable counts... is often... magnificently lacking... and then i hit days like this...
when... finally.. despite.. all my weariness.. all my strength or experience... i find myself... so vulnerable... so naked... so open... sucha... "sitting duck" for the lack of a better word...
is it sucha bad thing... when you are so easily exposed. it is soemthing you should cover.. or find a mask for... the naked nature of your raw emotion?
should we... then.. be able to always maintain equilibrium & a straight face.. no matter where we come from??
i agree to dis-agree... but if i am on the fucking other pole... from where you are... is this just our individual choice of what we decide to call home??
its so intense sometimes... these casual encounters in my head... they can rip something alive within me... and tear it out of my flesh... and expose it naked... to a salty sea... with high winds blowing... which are eroding... my inners.... and the violence.... the clash... between my skin and my teeth... so beautiful... so beautifully painful...
there is a lot of things in our lives... we think we can control... so much ... we can command over so conveniently... then... we chance upon our achilees heel!
the only real problem... in life... is not what we have to go through... no story is ever a fairy-tale... whatever we do... there is ALWAYS something one has to LEARN to live-with!
its only about.... what can YOU do... to let me live with it? but mayb... as she says... why should one be protected... from ANYthing?
why would i..make it ANY easier for you to live with your choices/ and then... after-all there is ALWAYS the escape-hatch that says... why don't you just... walk-away boy :)
1 comment:
you know, I can never sit down and force the words to come out. It doesnt work like that. Everything you read on Circles in the Sand is stuff that surfaced in my head when I similar encounters as you, or just when I couldn't sleep. Which is why the posts are few and far between.
Do not try to control anything. Go with the flow, live every day for itself. And most importantly- Do the right thing! At the end of the day if you can honestly tell yourself that you did the right thing, you have done the best you possibly could with the life given to you. And no one can ask for more. Not even you.
Cheers and all the best,
SwB
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