a boy named GOO

god... give me the strength.. to change.. what i feel is wrong... and the courage.. to accept... what i cannot change!

i... have lived thru the last 25 yrs.. with a lot of things... with a lot i'v let go... and too much that i'v experienced... sometimes... when i look back upon my life.. i feel.. these intensely complex relationships... are about the only thing i'v pulled... off... as an achievement in the last few yrs... my sense of strength of purpose.. on many other.. more valuable counts... is often... magnificently lacking... and then i hit days like this...

when... finally.. despite.. all my weariness.. all my strength or experience... i find myself... so vulnerable... so naked... so open... sucha... "sitting duck" for the lack of a better word... 

is it sucha bad thing... when you are so easily exposed. it is soemthing you should cover.. or find a mask for... the naked nature of your raw emotion?

should we... then.. be able to always maintain equilibrium & a straight face.. no matter where we come from??

i agree to dis-agree... but if i am on the fucking other pole... from where you are... is this just our individual choice of what we decide to call home??

its so intense sometimes... these casual encounters in my head... they can rip something alive within me... and tear it out of my flesh... and expose it naked... to a salty sea... with high winds blowing... which are eroding... my inners.... and the violence.... the clash... between my skin and my teeth... so beautiful... so beautifully painful... 

there is a lot of things in our lives... we think we can control... so much ... we can command over so conveniently... then... we chance upon our achilees heel!

the only real problem... in life... is not what we have to go through... no story is ever a fairy-tale... whatever we do... there is ALWAYS something one has to LEARN to live-with! 

its only about.... what can YOU do... to let me live with it? but mayb... as she says... why should one be protected... from ANYthing? 

why would i..make it ANY easier for you to live with your choices/ and then... after-all there is ALWAYS the escape-hatch that says... why don't you just... walk-away boy :)

hang-over of love...

there are these boys... ok i may be one of them sometimes..

but boys... who have been in relationships.. where the things ended.. pretty much.. when the men weren't exactly ready to let-go... and then suddenly... the women are gone... they don't talk much... they don't take their calls as often.. or are on a little trip of their own..

our boys... mean-while... are suddenly wondering.. how will the girl fend for herself... how will she survive in this big-bad world... how will she decide...how will she choose... which bag would go with this lip-stick!

the women... they are making their own way in the world.. they're on this trip of being independent..self-reliant.. fresh out of a r'ship.. and ready to chart out on their own.. and the boys are thinking of them as the damsels in distress.. that they'd become... while we were dating!

i think... the loud n clear msg... is to get over this hang-over... this residue... and this baggage that we carry on us so willing... and get on with our lives...

because.. it is SO MUCH more easier.. said than done... i'll leave it open to your conclusions... while i have shared my solution :)