The Body - A Marvel

Its amazing the kind of energy reserves our body has. This afternoon after under-going the most strenuous work-out I was exhausted, dead-tired and thought at 8pm… that this would indeed be a good time to sleep… the evening then… as it slowly led to the dim-dark... was my first leg of this evening.

Then ofcourse came the time spent on writing intelligent sounding words and bonding with friends, over a drive-home then a dinner followed by a dessert and some general talk. That was then part two of this evening.

Finally, with a few more hours on that form, a few words to pacify a restless mind and a few more stray thoughts later… I am sitting on my home PC at 5:36 AM… roughly 10 hours after I was dying to sleep… and yet wide awake…

What amazes me isn’t the fact that so much happened in the last 10 hours… I guess if you’re up sufficiently long, you will go through multiple experiences… but just the fact that the body has so much reserve energy in store which can so effortlessly kick-in to ensure that when push comes to shove… we can thrust hard ;)

the mornin' after

actually there wasn't a mornin after... unless 4pm can yet be called morning..

anyway... sleeping for 12 hrs straight after atleast 24 days if not more.. felt very very nice...

knowing that i have no dead-line approaching or nothing new to take care of.. or pester someone to finish off some work also felt very nice

knowing that all i had to do for this yr is essentially done.. and ppl may find my work less than perfect and may complain.. but most of it.. might only be rantings in hind-sight.. which have no real immediate implications or alterations to be done from my side.. again.. felt-nice

basically... knowing that i could wake up to a morning of no dead-lines and do nothing all day felt-nice...

i went for a movie with her then... after so many days.. and its pleasureable as ever.. to be in her company.. and we broke a jinx.. which had gone on for yrs.. of never seeing a good-film together.. a jinx that went through films like deham, shallow hal, matrix3, bourne identity... chai pani etc... basically spanning almost 4-5 yrs now...

and then a quite dinner at home.. even if its not that cosy and not so homely just now....

it is just good to have this break.. good to not have too much to do...

good to be able to read and write again...

good to be back!

empty thoughts...

No one owns bombay like the stray dogs and the slum-dwellers!

nothin-r'ships

its something i have come across... more so in the last few years... i think... that relationships have stopped becoming so official and people are much more open about the idea of liking someone and yet much more weary of commitment or entering something concrete.

maybe this is because we're (or ppl in my circle) are at an age where commitment becomes a much bigger deal.. and no1 is really fuckin' arnd anymore... maybe it stems from the fact that all of us have definitely had our first few r'ships.. so there is no puppy-lovin left...

anyway... the amount of nothin-r'ships that i see around me... far out-number the ppl in serious r'ships.. and i no longer am certain when some1 says they're single.. coz the thgt of another nothin r'ship comes arnd... i guess what makes em so popular is their lack-of-form or freedom.. some are into a nothin r'ship.. coz they fear commitment.. .some reach it as a residue stage from their previous r'ship... some reach it coz they dun wanna be alone n yet dun really wanna be with tht person.. .and some are just there.. i guess...

amazing how the dynamics of society change and how new concepts are invented to fill the gaps in these...

the perfect day!

it started with bad-grades... well... considering all the ingredients to this semester... bad-grades was the only logical conclusion.. anyway… after that we had that mammoth planning meeting to redeem ourselves...

a few hours later we planned a movie.. to kill the time.. and in sync with the theme of the day... it was the most mind-less, the most point-less movie i have ever seen.. and it was so bad that despite the money we were spending.. we walked out... mid-day now that hasn't happened since that time in Pinki forever back.. and never really happened for a English film.. ever..

then ofcourse.. someone mistook it to be a picturesque night.. and we decided to go for a drive... just to enjoy the view... she spun almost out as the mind raced farther... then ofcourse after a futile drive.. the road was dug-up.. so no view to enjoy.. and no place to part.. and just about as we were about to hit the rd... the license was missing and to eschew trouble… we headed back home..

ofcourse somewhere in the course of the night the equilibrium was also destroyed… for the first time in 2 weeks and the next day was one of those only days with a day-long headache

Guess this wasn’t the most popular Saturday after-all

this night, that year!

it started with a random after-work drive.. Which was meant to drop em home.. and then we started looking for food jst coz hunger struck.. and then we started drifting aimlessly... found some food .. but barely anything... soon we decided to travel to town...

and the roads were but-empty... with Tuesday morning approaching and the auspiciousness of walking-up-to-the-gods!!!!

we re-discovered worli-sea-face... HLL training centre.. empty buildings.. empty roads.. lots of interesting discussions of her and her and HER?

him and her and them together and us and back and forth...

we wanted to buy a couple of buildings in-between… good property deserves better owners ofcourse..

The hoarding read
“the youth leaders in parliament start at 60”
Is the emphasis on youth?

So… you think I should be a banker or do something with CCS
What difference does it make yaar, … if u go banking or alternate?...
Bastard for once stop thinking about yourself I am asking you what do you think I should do… don’t look at my life in terms of YOU
But isn’t that what really matters?
*(Y$*(@Y$@(*Y%({Y%

A few minutes later… we were on SB rd. Colaba – 5, from Andheri (E)-93…
And then we turned around for a quick coffee, a look at the beautiful abstraction of a shop called “atmosphere”
Does anyone know what this shop, right next to the Gateway of India sells?

We were just headed back when it struck us that the station will offer much need food and then there was Bun-maska, tea! Bhurji-pav… there is a god.. and he blesses us all!

On the way back the discussion went on to more interesting topics like being open to new people, traveling, working in teams... food wakes us up after-all

I am very tolerant of diversity and my interests have been aligned accordingly like traveling, working with various groups etc.
I am also very tolerant to diversity
Being okay about various contradicting opinions you have is not really the same as being tolerant to diversity

And then we twilighted home…

Arranged Vs Love

This has somehow been a topic of discussion or relevance for me since the age of 18... maybe cause the woman i was in love with... was so hell-bent on gettin arranged...

so anyway... we're debating this for 45 mins... voices rising, discussions getting passionate... what about individual liberty... what about what your parents.. they have raised you for so many yrs.. but its your life.. but you can't dissociate from the emotional attachment to the family just like that.. but if they decided to have you for whatever reasons.. don't they have a duty to raise you... it had pretty much reached a fuck-you stage.. where you believe in your theories and i'll believe in mine.. no two people have to always concur after-all... civilized society only asks for people to be able 2 accept other people's opinions.

So after all these moral pleas' of individual liberty, moral righteousness and how we should not compromise on things we believe in… I just decided to share his opinion on all of this… after-all the discussion had started because he had an opinion on this…

“She’ll tell you she has a moral obligation towards the family… you have to convince her… by telling her… imagine… if we get married and then we have children the atmosphere in the house will be filled with so much love… so much promise… you will tell the kids… their children (your grand-kids) stories of our court-ship… and how there were so many firsts and how our families finally agreed and you will be spreading so much happiness… don’t you owe that to our children and their children… isn’t that then… much greater than what we owe just our parents”

That worked… worked better than I have heard a woman seem agreeable in almost 8 yrs of mouthing my usual lines…

work and its worth-less-ness

i read this very interesting article as i had a few hours and more to kill..
http://www.zpub.com/notes/black-work.html
this article.. reminded me of so many things i believe in... like work isn't really the be-all-end-all.. it also reminded me of a very old article...
http://www.zpub.com/notes/idle.html
which had struck up quite a conversation a few winters back...

anyway.. some of the key lessons and questions that arose out of both the essays for me were... if we do improve in technology & advance.. why couldn't just a few ppl work towards subsistence and the rest try to do something better with their lives... how are progressing if we are all in the rat race...

and i really liked these lines.. for they finally bring to fore something i have always believed in... the uselessness of financial institutions and instruments..

i mean what person in their sane frame of mind needs all those mutual funds and bonds, the derivatives & commodity markets... nationalised and local and other such banks...

"Forty percent of the workforce are white-collar workers, most of whom have some of the most tedious and idiotic jobs ever concocted. Entire industries, insurance and banking and real estate for instance, consist of nothing but useless paper-shuffling. It is no accident that the "tertiary sector," the service sector, is growing while the "secondary sector" (industry) stagnates and the "primary sector" (agriculture) nearly disappears. "

then the lil thought about how nero would've actually turned out alright if he was allowed to.. at a younger age... in a lesser degree to practise animal slaughter (by working in a slaughter house) thus killing his fascination over the damn thing!

point being.. as we all know.. things are curable if addressed at an earlier age and being proactive about such issues is very much possible.. it doesn't even take a genius to figure these things out...
as entertaining or interesting the lives of such freaks would be.. .we might be making much better use of our time and resources if we spent it just treating these individuals better

very similar to the kind of outlook some of us hope or expect the indian society to take towards sex and relationships amongst individuals of the opposite sex... especially in places like North India.. .maybe then we'd not have our capital as the rape capital of the country atleasT!

givin' up....

Giving up.. ought to be one of the most difficult lessons to learn... giving up not on what you believed in or strived towards... but giving up on the probable outcome of the effort put in...

since its so difficult to practice... the rewards are equally brilliant... like if you give up on the result and pursue the activity just for the pure pleasure of play... it can sometimes be more rewarding than the plan intentioned.

he experienced it... when he did euphoria... he experienced it also when sittin there after 2yrs of prep the math section looked to be printed in greek.. ofcourse one outcome was positive and one of them otherwise.. but then.. like the wise men say.. after putting in your honest best efforts there is very little you can do.. except hope for the best.. and that is why it becomes so important to let go... give up and not hope or wish or pray that things work out your way.. cos they will only work out the way they have to.. but by not expecting you rid yourself of the pressure the expectation and thus the disappointment.

here's to giving up on a few more things in life.. so what if the investment was another yr of my life!

You're Ruining yourself!

one of the best compliments i've recieved this yr... or in a few yrs now..

and the giver did not even know.. what all the taker took in that 1 simple line...

ruining my life over so many people and so many things that if we could realistically remove all of these variable i'd be a lot less ruined and a lot more happy.

Good-bye

dream analysis....

she n i used to play dream analysis once upon a time... it was fun n it was played seldom n it threw up interesting connotations...

like she dreamt about killing, teeth falling, my dreams though are always out-of-context.. yet never really way too unbelievable or un-realistic.. except for the time kareena n abhishek came home for a meal n i dropped them back in my zen.. and for some non-apparent reason they ensured by doing stupid things.. my zen had only 2 doors left.. i've never really had the heart to analyze that dream ofcourse.. its lying in cold storage... this isn't about that dream anyway :P

last night.. rather this morning at 7:30 i had a dream... she came to my house.. upstairs.. and i was gently kissing her lips.. and just getting comfortable.. when the alarm rang and i woke up :) (all good things come to an end... abruptly and just when you're starting to enjoy them :P)

anyway... now frued says.. when you have a physical dream about someone.. you're in love with that person.... and... umm... indian lore.. or whatever part of it i have been exposed to... says.. early morning dreams.. tend to come true.. rather often...

interesting food for thoughT!

Goaing Goan

as the new year draws close and we get away from the year that was.. the festive people of this festive city make plans to get away...
to bring in the new yeat in style..
to do something special for themselves.. something unique... some go there..
cos its the best they can afford.. so go there cos its mighty convenient...
and some go there cos such was their plan...

Goa the land of golden sand and other nice things (which i may not be able to throw much light on.. as i've never gone there)

the distinct chords goa stricks in my mind are...

1 of my closest friends had a brilliant time with her bf there....
1 of my other friends went there with a few friends to celebrate the end of her CAT..
and when another 1 of my close friends was going to go there for last new yrs.. tsunami happnd.. and she shelved her trip.. .

hmm..
doesn't quite seem like a yr has passed since the advent of the killer waves...

1 of my friends picked up Garage Inc. from there.. coz thtz where he first saw it...

and the sweetest of all.. is ofcourse when my folks went there for a week and i had a blast at home...

haha.. who'd believe there can be so many associations to a place.. without having even gone there

anyway.. as the new yr comes around.. these 3 friends.. head-back to goa...

one is newly married.. so honey-mooning..
one is about to get engaged.. and is holidaying..
and the other is yet celebrating... friends....

different people headed to the same place for different reasons.. with different set of objectives.. and yet ending up within a square mile or so of each other...

maybe it is coz they are from bombay.. only the global-village could define their proximity and their dissonance

random thoughts...

She: What is your take on friends getting married?
He: Friends... getting involved is damned convenient.. if they get married that's good.. but if things fuck-up.. you lose a friend and a lover.. kinda sad eh?
He: Whats your take on friends with benefits?
She: no-reply
(two days later)
He: Whats your take on friends with benefits?
She: no-reply
(two-days later)
He:dude.. don't you have an opinion?
She: But i don't understand your question... aren't all friends beneficial... IN SOME-ways.. atleast?
He:(stifling immense laughter) hmm.. .Friends with benefits.. are like fuck-buddies in a lesser degree probably...

and in his head play the alanis lines...
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits

She: yr definition of benefits is quite diff. well.. i never needed such friends.. nor intend on being 1
She: Your point of view on things scandalizes me so much... i feel i live in a different world.

*************************************************************************************

Deep thgt on a well-slept afternoon.. mid-life crisis... festive-season-nearing..monkey's having better love-lives... and... impending exams..

what is the best thing i've done till date..
Started boyaz... lol.. funny when you think in restrospect.. put things into perspective.. and all that jazz.. you realise.. how little the things we burn our blood over.. and toil so much for.. really matter...

anyway.. since the yr is coming to an end.. i have decided to have a new yr resolution.. so the next few days will be spent thinking on that one..

tuesday mornin blues

if i worked too hard sunday-nite and monday went by in a haze of sleepiness... can there be a case of tuesday afternoon blues?

suddenly i feel like... the more you see.. the lesser you actually can tell.. experience instead of wisening you... sometimes makes everything blurry because you have seen do much.. rationalised things on both sides of the normal...

when the running seems in a direction that can best be termed as pointless.. and everything eludes you.. most of all a purpose and a meaning....

i am reminded of an old friend who said.. "life is elsewhere"

i just saw King Kong!

and even the monkey looks like he'd have a better love life.. than i!!!

there's something about 3 am nights.. even if you can get here every night of the week.. something about them yet remains charming... be it, the emptiness of the road when you're driving back home... the no-nonsense music play in the radio... the odd-cop on the road reminding you.. that civilization does not sleep in the night.. despite what some people would like to say about the law & order in this city...

the stories we create on these 3 am nights... in a few yrs.. as we hit middle-age.. will be the only one's that we'll have to share.. these will then be the fond re-collections of days when we were young.. when we could follow our dreams.. we had the will & youth on our side, to change stuff...

he'll be a different man 5 yrs from now.. he's already so different anyway.. she'll be slightly different but yet with a very similar role... their differences will merge into commonalities but they'll yet all be distinct individuals all trying to carve a niche.. fighting for their own space..

and hopefully even then i can drive back alone at 3:30 am... and reflect upon their lives and once more try and enjoy the journey than rush towards the destination!

questions?

a friend of mine.. sent me these 20-30 questions which are rather global-gyaan or stuff you try to think about on the macro-level... the bigger questions of life so to speak.... i will try and put forth my view on some of these.. and look fwd to hear from u guys..


What happens when someone’s freedom infiltrates on my own personal freedom? (Yatin)

well.. if this is a person i am friendly with, then i'd try to accomodate and/or propogate their freedom to the extent it is tolerable.. but when it crosses a line.. i'd show them their limits.
.
e.g. say someone is friendly with you.. but is very touchy.. so you'd allow them to be such, knowing its their nature upto some extent, but if it becomes a problem you will draw a line for them..

if the person involved is someone i don't know or care about. i will safe-gaurd my personal freedom at all costs.. since that is all that matters to me.

looking at the macro level.. If this happens in business or something.. i think the answer will be that its a case of survival of the fittest and each person tries to maximum or safe-guard their interests at whatever costs... and may the more determined souls win...

the authority of excesses

i've always believed in the power of X's... (pun in pronunciation intentional!)

so why should excessive alcohol be an exception.. even though some people may think a lot of alcohol is actually bad and takes the toll on your mind and body and work and blah!

the point of view that if you do excess of something.. you see it in a ttly new light.. and find new pleasure points in it.. got reinforced tonight!

me and a few friends were sitting for beer ... this was college group and the discussions were usual.. BITCHING about this and that.. love and lost-love how prof's are crap and how much we can do... i don't even need to mention all this... and this is a session or a setting seen only too often... by normal standards of alcohol consumption.. or the ones considered as the right amount of consumption almost all of us will be termed drunkards... anyway..

then suddenly i brought up the topic of how one prof had said our presentations are not creative enough and how we could do so much more...

at this point... 6 people in their early 20's had a 20 min discussion about the types of presentations we make.. .lack and possibility of creativity in terms of content and visuals... the possibilities and so forth.. this wasn't just a discussion but a full-blown debate with each set recommending a different agenda.. now this i think is something so special.. talks volumes about how seriously MBA's especially those from our newly re-christened institution in its silver jubilee year take their studies.. 6 men sitting in a dingy bar and discussing presentation innovation on a Sunday at about 1 am.. speaks for itself!

which reminds me of another great quality of our great school which was highlighted by a dear friend a few months back...

we have a life comparable to a 2 yr vacation.. popular consensus is.. we park ourselves over here so we can rest for sometime and then we go out and work in the corporate world relentlessly.. coz we've already had excessive holidaying and vacation (this reiterates the point the first half of this blog tries to make.. about excess and its weird effects on the after-excess-behavior) and we think that we don't under-go enough rigor or hard-work in our college days.. as almost all of our prof's have no clue what they're doing.. and then suddenly.. one-fine-day! there walks in this prof who has alleged revolutionary ideas and gives us lots and lots of work and assignments to do.. and just like usual students complain again.. this time about how we are from this esteemed institution.. and not so accustomed to hard-work and the addnl work-load.. affects our leisure time...

I love it when there are certain things you can be sure about in life.. like people complaining about the faculty irrespective of their ability or interest.

Charade

the nape of her neck....
the close-up to her lips
the curve of her breast
and her shiny white teeth

Images left with me,
are mine always to keep
We shift & We stagnate
We move a million steps
Trying to remain the same

What miles couldn't magnify
Moods can deviate
And then her hair falls on top of my head
And she smells so great always!!

A child to protect
A mistake to learn from
She's my energy drink
& saps life out of me