today... i feel.. like chris isaac... singing....

when i was younger....

i used to think...

i could win?

now i WONDER!

how i WONDER!

hmmm... anyway... i have given up and given in... ppl keep stalling my life away...

i have absolutely no clue where i am going or what i'm doing here...

let's hope thru some magical serum i'm in banglore next week to find out more... about all this! 

glamour gutted!

so... here we were! young.. impressionable.. and on-to-something! 

what with their big-plans of europe here we come... and hk is where we wanna work... 

the lives full of plans.. of script-writers... i don't even know what not! but i am pretty sure.. between them.. .their dreams... (both awake and those sleepy-ones) they covered just about everything... that they would have done!

mind you... these weren't 5 yr olds... wanting to be... engineers, doctors.. or pilots... but 20 somethings... wanting everything... if you will believe airtel.. sufficiently... these guys.. were "www.impatientones.com" 

and then... i think what fucked things up was... we got on the wrong-side of 25... somehow... i think after 25... it's pretty much just down-hill... you go from dreams to just dreary-realities..

the fuck-up is... some of them aren't even 25.. just decided to age prematurely!

how else... do you explain... her marrying... him from office... she the elusive flower they said... and her... marrying him from school.. HIM? like seriously?!!

not to mention... him thinking of ... is she worth considerins :$

or him wandering into territory that was so clearly not-worth-mentioning.. just half-a-decade back!

we all gained a few pounds.. a few yrs... a LOT of cynicism... and suddenly... we're deeper entrenched into the system... the rat-race... the reality.. than we'd care to admit.. .even!

that navtej sarna line... comes to mind... and sadly seems to apply to self *we weren't lovers like that* and now... with a lil change.. we are those ppl... and yet.. we really.. weren't.. lovers like that :)

ah... in the ipl innings break... she's got the look  plays... reminder of those good ol' days maybe?

she says.. .we don't talk... you and i.. yr not much of a talker... am i not? i stopped sharing? caring? too much? or just turned too cynical somewhere along the way :S

well... this looks like something out of Sunday Evening Philosophers... but its clearly not something they'll use...

ON THE SIDE:

Katrina Kaif talking about cricket... brightened me up... blondie... who is clueless.. with a mike thrusted in her face... and she's supposed to comment on how she feels about the century (century #*%^&$ WHAT!!!) her teamie just scored...

bit of maddness to the method!

so... we often talk about how... there is.. a certain method to ppl's madness... how ... their... non-coherent... odd actions.. actually come naturally to them and they can make sense of all their things and in some odd way... have a clear idea or some kind of a clue.. on where they're headed!

there are.. ofcourse. the sorted variety... the seem non-sorted but Method to Madness (MtM) variety..  then there are the kinds who find themselves into trouble.. from time to time..

and THEN! there's me... who can take a normal... every-day situation... and find a way... on how to make it this convoluted... out of control almost kind of BIG PHAT mess!

doing the things.. most ppl do.. most of the times... i find ways... to complicate and make things messy! 

right from trying to catch everyday flights.. on 1 of those tours... to even resigning and switching jobs...

but then.. like she did .. point out..  we didn't expect any different from you... or any less... now... did we?

 :)

might finally leave kolkata... wonder if that's a happy thgt or a sad-one... these things are such hard to tell.. these days... good and bad have sorta kinda mixed themselves up lately...

maybe this is what happens.. when the good ones let you down.. or maybe this is the cynicism of a man on the wrong side of 25 ;)