POINTlessness

its amazing how much you can realise about yourself once you say something out loud.. and how easily it gets re-inforced if you repeat it ample amount of times...

the point of my pointlessness or how i feel dis-interested in everything was something that started out as a passing reference and then when i put more and more thought to it.. the only thing i see is that i am a part of so much and yet i am apart from all of it... it wouldn't make me the slightest of difference if almost any of it stopped existing tomorrow. i'd probably find a fresh substitute for it and continue like nothing changed.

existing.. living.. couldn't be jst about getting from today to tmrw.. and hopefully trying to enjoy the journey...

i wish someday i can find a purpose sound and meaningful enough to change the mood of my listless life... right now i guess we could even settle for someone who can make all of this seem a lil more interesting....

we can be heroes.... just for one-day!

AB & Friends

as i write this... its close to 4 am... its yet raining in mumbai... and i'm listening to xl ki kudiyaan waah bhai waah... i feel so much like a part of a b-school... i was talking to someone from SP Jain this mornin.. and discussing the chix there.. then i spent the whole day at nmims.. and am listening to songs recorded by iim-c and xlri kids...

this is ofcourse my 2nd attempt at writing this post.. the last one i cudn't recover... due to the roughly 15 hours that i took to write that thing... all the same.. last nite.. 4 of us were drinking.. and there were 4 other ppl with us... to celebrate so much.. but mainly celebrate each other now that i think of it... the way he said "its all under control" when he puked and locked himself in the loo for 1.5 hours... when he broke a beer bottle and when he refused to eat and drink vodka neat..

there is this fun feeling.. this really nice positive glint about finding new nice people who you know you'd want in your life for the next 20 yrs... who're brilliant and simple and such wonderful people.. mostly these friendships are more valuable than relationships too.. as they tend to last that much longer...

but then all the drink n discussion remind him of her... force him to think about her... him ruing over her.. and she starts thinking about him.. and once again the edges start blurring.. the vision gets distorted... n then a familiar sound comes to mind



Everything's so blurryand everyone's so fakeand everybody's emptyand everything is so messed uppre-occupied without youI cannot live at allMy whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawlYou could be my someoneyou could be my sceneyou know that i'll protect youfrom all of the obsceneI wonder what your doingimagine where you arethere's oceans in between usbut that's not very far

ever wondered... how much more beautiful things look.. when you blur the edges... go fwd at breath-taking speeds... its kinda like speed-dating only better... speed-living if you can call it that.. where you don't think just do.. its an interesting approach to life.. where yuo keep yourself so busy so occupied.. you run from deadline to deadline ... meeting to meeting.. but never really meet anyone or stop for anything...

i wonder if you try to go fwd that fast.. do you really go fwd.. or is it more like going round in circles and being in the same position...

besidz.. after a certain age.. i think it becomes difficult to define positive growth or learning... this reminds me of the post about stere-o-typing or having a "funda" of life.. in middle-age.. would that be growth then?

hmm.. in this quest for nothing... i almost forgot.. i have no time left to read.. i haven't read something interesting.. met someone interesting.. in so long now... life should have these ppl coming in.. interminently.. tht make u sit up n take notice.. or maybe we shuold just do our bit and the rest follows...

she calls me the ultimate chase boy....

i want to have something... with love in it

well.. what i read was actually the reciprocal of this... a lil cryptic unnecessarily i realise.. but maybe i am give the 5 am let-go...

anyway... i read this and my first reaction was the song "what's love got to do with it"

heh.. over-exposed under-studied.. over-discussed and pretty pointless.. debate rages on.. i shall try not to lose focus..

loving anyway is more convenient and easy when its loving a book? loving a song? loving a phone?

ask the poor boy who was cornered at the AB table tonight.. life is difficult.. life is elsewhere...

i slept at 5 am 3 nights back coz i was playing nfs2
i slept at 4 am last nite coz i was working on a presentation
i sleep at 5 am again tonight coz i was finishing off SOM write-up...

either i'm working too hard... or i'm way-too-inefficient!

interpreting the interpreter

so... i guess as the title suggests.. i saw interpreter this evening.... ok afternoon... anyway.. each movie.. has an under-lying theme.. this one line... one scene.. one msg.. tht is usually a sub-sub-plot of it.. but is, the learning i take home after watching that film.

i've had this kind of feeling after very many films, but since i can't rem any of the previous ones i will share with you the lesson learnt from the interpreter

The key to get a person out of your life is ... to change the door locks and your cell phone number.

Now most of you kids, living in mumbai.. ok since 2 ppl read my blog.. 1/2 of you ppl might not consider it very relevant.. since well u live in home with other ppl.. yada yada yada...

actually all of u do.. so... well...

while i attend college..

Part 1 :
so.. i was jst observing in my class today... middle-aged people... some of them.. or maybe all of them.. come in with this school of thought... this value system or this set of beliefs... to put it colloquially... its "their funda of life" and almost anything you talk to them, can finalyl easily boil down to their funda in life.. its not about anything else.. but their fundas...

and how sometimes.. it can get outrageously annoying... i was just wondering.. when i hit middle-age.. will i also have a funda in life? and will this? then? become someone else's problem?

Part 2 :
Today.. we had a class in CSR (for the uninitiated - corporate social responsibility) and in this lecture... some groups were making presentation... so my enthu class-mates as ever were asking questions after the presentation.. the case was of bayer (germany company) which had stopped using some environmentally harmful chemical in their home-country... but was yet using it... in India.. coz.. german laws prohibited it.. and indian laws were not really taking much of a stand on it...

and then this guy asks the group that was presenting.... that... if the government has not taken a stand against it... how can you blame the company for making that chemical.. that as long as the government is not making it illegal... how can yuo call it a violation of the company's CSR if they didn't stop mfg tht chemical...

now.. i have never really claimed to be particularly attentive.. or particularly in love with my studies my course or my college.. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD can these people read the FULL-FORM of the class they're attending? CORPORATE social responsibility..

if it's not the corporates responsibility when they're polluting the environment... then who's is it
?!!!

but such is life...

Part 3 :
The other day.. this really bad prof was giving a class on quant.. n she really cudn't teach....
n then FINALLY when she did solve a sum... the whole class erupted into a wild round of applause...

now this prof of ours has a very live n let live approach to teaching.. so u can do anything in her class.. excpet something to disturb her.. so a LARGE section of the class was sleeping (in the last few benches) and when the eruption of applause happened all these people were disturbed from their slumber.. and woke up rather uneasily...

the look of irritation and dis-dain that they had towards their peers for disturbing them from making the most of the lecture.. was was... PricelesS!